In 2009, I went through my SECOND divorce. It was a devastating experience in a number of ways. First of all, I was a failure in relationships. What was I doing wrong? Why wasn’t I enough? And then the anger…what a jerk! He’ll be sorry and want me back. Oh, the plethora of emotions. The emotions even went higher as I struggled financially. Up until 2008, I think I was late with a credit card payment once (and it was only a few days as I moved and didn’t receive the bill). Between 2004 and 2006, I purchased 3 properties in Hawaii. By 2008, these properties were worth about half what I payed for them. OMG! What should I do? My ex wanted me to file bankruptcy. I declined…until I saw the third lawyer who asked me “How do you anticipate paying back almost $2M in mortgages?” It was an eye opener. Here are some of the ways I survived this horrendous experience.
Know that NO ONE has your best interest at heart as you do. I hired that law firm. Unfortunately, the senior lawyer passed it off and I was given very bad advice by his staff. When the senior lawyer (and owner) finally called me back, he agreed to give me my money back. I did the BK myself. Now, I would NOT recommend this to everyone. What I do recommend is that YOU do the research as well. This will ensure that things will go smoothly. BTW as I was waiting my turn to present my case, the case before me was vetoed as they did not have the proper paperwork. Their lawyer was with them.
People who go through a BK are not degenerates. I am grateful for having this experience. I used to be extremely judgmental and could not understand how/why people did not pay their bills. Now, I understand that there are extenuating circumstances.
I created my circumstance myself hoping to plan for retirement through real estate investing. Markets change and NOTHING stays the same or goes straight up.
Accept responsibility for your actions. This is difficult but I am the person who created the situation. There was no one to blame but me.
Do your research! Now, I don’t just jump into things. I may even be a little too cautious but I do google the heck out of everything and get the low down.
I am not a horrible person. It took me years to stop berating myself…and truth be told, I still do on a rare occasion. It was an experience that made me a better person. It was an experience that, when shared, can help others.